In which I am forced to make unbearable decisions that should never be made.
I’ve got so much to do and so little time. I’ve got tons of tags, some books I can review, and plenty of rants stored away for rainy days. Just kidding. I never rant on rainy days; I’m in too good of a mood.
I was tagged for this by Johnathan Fisher, who has an absolutely terrific blog. I don’t like to call people imbecilic, but you are imbecilic if you don’t read his blog.
I’m kidding; I love calling people imbecilic. It really rolls off the tongue. Let’s say it out loud together, on three. Ready? One, two, three:
Gah, I’ve not been sleeping well, I apologise. Back to the tag! This is a really easy looking one. You just choose three books (you can use the sort random thingy on your goodreads shelf), and for each group of three you are to choose which to burn, which to rewrite, and which to reread.
So easy, yet I’ve a feeling it will be so painful. Let’s start.
Burn: H2O ALL THE WAY!!!! Ruby is the worst protagonist ever and I would delight in watching her burn.
Rewrite: Pride and Prejudice. Unpopular opinion: I didn’t actually like Pride and Prejudice that much. I love Jane Austen, but I prefer the movie on this one.
I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.
Wait a second, no I will not! It’s my blog and I shall have whatever opinion I wish to have. YOU can see YOURSELF out if you have a problem.
Reread: The Martian Chronicles so much!!! I haven’t even read all of the stories yet, but it’s phenomenal and Bradbury is phenomenal.
That round wasn’t so hard. Let’s move on to the next!
*tears hair out in distress*
Burn: The Giver. I know, I’m sorry. I did love this book, but I was less impressed than I thought I would be, and there were a few things I had quibbles with.
Rewrite: Jane Eyre. Gah, this is a hard one, but I guess it would be fun to rewrite it. I would take out a little of the 19th century melodrama and maybe tidy up the mad woman in the attic thing.
Reread: Gone With the Wind. I’ve read this so many times, man, but I love it. I’m a Civil War nerd, that’s part of it. By the way, I’ve never had occasion to tell you guys how much I love the Ken Burns documentary about the Civil War, so I’ll tell you now. I love it.
*is apprehensive now about this tag but must move on to the next round*
Gah this…this is WRONG! I cannot!
Burn: I’m sorry, Shakespeare. Julius Caesar was more my cup of tea. I’m simply not into the star-crossed lovers. That being said, and this decision being made, I do understand and appreciate how much this play has contributed to literature, to popular culture, and to our collective human experience and ideology. Thank you, Shakespeare, for that, but even so, I must reluctantly place it (very gently and respectfully) into the fire.
Rewrite: Little Women. Why are you making me do this???? As beloved as this book is to me, like an old quilt, I have to admit it could use some rewriting. It could be a little bit tighter and less preachy.
But I wouldn’t want it that way. It’s like if you had a blind grandmother who sewed you a quilt that was mismatched and a little crooked. Of course it could be better, but if you took it apart and redid it, it wouldn’t be the same at all.
Reread: A Tale of Two Cities. By far my favourite of Dickens’s novels, and I’m due for a reread.
NO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS KIND OF STRESS IN MY LIFE WHAT EVEN HOW
Burn: The Scarlet Letter. Except now I’m going to have to wear a letter of my own for the terrible sin of burning this important contribution to literature. B, for book-burner.
I’m so sorry.
Rewrite: DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!!!! *collapses into a ball of tears*
Actually, it’s not even that dire. I would like to rewrite I Am the Messenger in such a way that certain persons don’t end up together, because one of those persons is a jerk, and the other person deserves so much better, whether said person feels like they do or not. I know what is best for this person, and this person definitely shouldn’t be with that person.
So there you go.
Reread: Lord of the Flies. If I ever end up owning a copy. I have no idea why it’s been so long and I still don’t, but life is life.
THIS IS NOT A FUN TAG
Burn: Girl in the Blue Coat. I LOVE THIS BOOK WHY DO I HAVE TO BURN IT????
Rewrite: I DON’T KNOW!!!! BOTH REMAINING BOOKS ARE PERFECT THEY DO NOT NEED REWRITING!!! Maybe Of Mice and Men. Change that ending.
Reread: I just reread this one (after having almost forgotten about it despite its being one of my favourite books ever of all time) and I would still reread it again. And again. And again. I just love it too much.
*is a complete wreck at this point in the game* Here goes the final round. For this one, I’m only doing books from my favourites shelf. It’s going to be painful, but pain is sometimes necessary.
You guys? I don’t think I can do this. I…
WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME I CANNOT DO THIS
Burn: I cannot…I cannot make this decision. I physically cannot burn any of these books. But I guess…I guess…I guess…
ERROR NOPE SORRY I LACK THE ABILITY TO DO THIS
This isn’t fair. This is so not fair. Nope. Sorry. Never.
So if this pain looked fun to you, please feel free to do it! I’d love to see everyone else’s
tortured decisions answers. Thanks, Johnathan Fisher, for putting me through this (there was a little bit of sarcasm there, not gonna lie, haha, but seriously, thank you for tagging me!)
Have a lovely day!