In which I share some gems I wrote down from when I was a teacher’s assistant in a K-3 classroom. Does this relate to this blog? Not at all.
I was going through my old writing journals today because I was actually legitimately looking for something, and I got distracted by all these cute snippets of conversations from the K-3 classes I used to be a teacher’s assistant in.
I took out the names of the kids, just to be careful about their privacy.
Two of the kinders talking, both boys.
Boy 1: Hey, look, that’s the booger monster!
Boy 2: Where? WHERE?!?!
Boy 1: Up there! He’s HIDING IN A SIGN! That’s him! That’s the booger monster!
A sweet, anxious, little kindergarten girl, addressing me: They’re just kidding. I don’t think there’s a booger monster.
Me: Of course not. They’re just being silly boys.
Boy 1: BOOOOOOOGER MONSTERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: Is that an appropriate volume?
Boy 2, in a whisper: Booger monster.
“The Poisonestdest Sea Snake”
The yellow bellied sea snake is the poisonestdest sea snake.”
—a bit of wisdom imparted to me very earnestly by a first grade boy.
(And while it isn’t necessarily the “poisonestedest,” it is pretty deadly. So listen to this kid and stay away from them.)
“Stop Tormenting Each Other”
3rd grade girl with big vocabulary: Would you boys please stop tormenting each other?
2nd grade boy: Well, he’s fighting with me!
3rd grade girl (in the most patronising tone): It’s probably just a misunderstanding.
2nd grade boy: Well, he’s misunderstanding me!!!
Kindergarten boy: My uncle got bit by a shark one time!
3rd grade boy: My uncle was in the army and he got stabbed and he’s still alive and he showed me.
Kindergarten girl: One time my sister picked up a real life hermit crab!
So let me give you the background for this one.
The point of this particular class was to expose kids to different cultures. The teacher had this book that introduces you to different kids around the world. Each week, she would read to them about one of the kids, and then they would do projects on that culture. So on this day, they were reading about a little girl from Kenya. Each week after reading, the teacher would ask them questions about how this kid is like us and how he/she is different. Now, this little kindergarten boy is just jiggling up and down because he has to pee, and honestly, I would have just let the kid go to the bathroom, but the teacher wanted him to wait until the discussion was over.
Teacher: How is this girl like us?
A 1st grade girl raises her hand and is called on.”They’re bald.”
The teacher makes a big show of looking around the room. “Hmm…I don’t see anyone here who’s bald, do you?”
“Well, not here, but my daddy’s bald.”
A few of the older kids laugh.
“Oh. Okay…” The teacher’s mouth is twitching. “How are they different?”
The kindergartner who has to pee waves his hand frantically in the air, and the teacher calls on a couple of other kids first, probably assuming he’s just going to ask to go to the bathroom again. I think the other kids mention things about food, clothes, etc. Finally, she calls on the kindergarten boy.
“They’re all bald, even the girls, they have two wives, they make their houses out of POOP, and can I please go to the bathroom?!”
The entire classroom explodes into laughter, and the teacher realises that there is no way she is getting this discussion back on track anyway (besides, the kid got all the main points). She nods, and the kid runs for the bathroom.
That was a completely random post and had nothing to do with anything. You’re welcome. Have a lovely day!